even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Couch. On fire.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize