i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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