I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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