i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize