After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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