I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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