I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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