You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize