as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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