If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize