and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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