Where did you get a picture of my penis
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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