i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
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I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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