I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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