I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
as a side note pls kill me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize