Semen is not good for contacts.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
tell me about the eggs
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