return my video game
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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