You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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