It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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