I wish I could punch you in the face.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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