I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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