.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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