Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize