Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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