My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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