I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize