Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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