So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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