the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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