did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This is my gift to your gina
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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