I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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