i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize