I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize