she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize