i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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