Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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