wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize