the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize