do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize