okay pat passed out under dana's car
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize