My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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