we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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