By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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