I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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