im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize