The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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