If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize