I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize