i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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