shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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